ADDICTED...!!

People say I am "addicted"...
I say why should not I be?

Is it wrong to think for yourself?
Is it wrong to think of staying happy?
Is it wrong to think of achieving goals and living LIFE fully?

God says,"You got to try harder and still harder..."
I ask,"Am I not?"

Am I not trying hard enough?
Am I not trying to fulfill my commitments?
Am I not trying for others' sake and making ends just meet?
Am I not COMPROMISING??
What and where am I doing wrong?

Nobody replies!!
They leave me confused and pondering...

And then they say,"You are addicted!"

I ask,"Guys, do you really think I am?"....

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WHEN TIME JUST FLIES !!!

I look through the shades of time
And see the people turn hazy
The world seems to spin faster
My eyes turning red and lazy

Straight into the darkness I stare
Hoping to feel that brisk touch of 'rosy glare'
But the darkness pulls me deeper...and deeper...

Towards a swirl I plunge
And see myself float in that emptiness..
No word pops out of my mouth..
But I so much want to scream and cry!!!

Who should I blame for what has come
My father had always said every blow to welcome...

But this plight of mine is my own;
And this symphony of fate and epilogue is all I remain...

Can I just forget who and what I used to be?
Am only human, after all, you see..

Hurts it much to know
What I was and what I have become to grow...

And still, with teary eyes when I see
The time just flies
And I am not FREE!!

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I MISS U..!!

I want to say I'm sorry for many reasons left unsaid
I want to say I miss you and the life that we once led
I want to be forgiven and forgive myself as well
I want to hold my head up high and no longer sit and dwell
How do you learn to love yourself after perfecting self-hate?
I want to shout ' I miss you so' yet knowing I'm too late
So much time has already passed but one thing remains
The thought of you brings warmth to me and that will never change
We all make mistakes in life, Lord knows I've made a few
Please know that doesn't change the fact I truly cared for you
The love we shared may have been brief, and now it's just our past
But the impact that you have left on me will forever last
No matter where we go from here, no matter where we've been
What I miss most of all, is not my lover, it's my FRIEND..

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I TRY...

I try to be friends
with someone else,
And that person is me;
Cause every time I try to be friends,
They always push me away,
So being my friend is better
than being friends with you,
At least I now What a true
friend is;
It's not you...!!

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WHY M I HERE??

I lay in bed alone at night and wonder why I'm here.
I do so much for everyone
Why don't they show they care?
There is so much hurt I feel, so much anger trapped inside.
I have no one to talk to
These drugs seem to be the only way
Turns out it's a lie just like the smile I put on each and everyday.
I know outside I'm smiling, It's the face I fake for you,
But inside my soul is crying and there is nothing I can do.
I know my family loves me,
I'm there when their decisions are poor.
I'm sick of feeling like this walked on rug thrown upon the floor.
I lay in bed and wonder what the hell I'm doing here
Can I wake up from this dream?
Can I please just disappear?

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I WANNA CRY :(

I never stopped to realize
How lonely I would be
I never thought this day would come
When I'd grow tired of "ME"

Your voice was never sweeter
Than the day I said goodbye
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

If I knew then what I know now
You'd still be kissing me
Instead there's fate's lips
Where mine used to be

You never looked so wonderful
As the day fate made me walk away
I used to say, "I love you"
But that I could not say

I can't forget you darlin'
No matter how much I try
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

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I AM SORRY:(

I'm sorry for everything you've been through
It must've been very hard on you
I'm sorry for all that's been said and done
I was the moon, you were the sun
I'm sorry for not making everything right
But the situation I was in, was very tight
I'm sorry for not lending you a hand
If only I could be better
I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care
I'm sorry for breaking your heart
For forgiveness, where do I start?

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THE GIFT SILENCE GAVE

An introvert, by nature, as I am
My silent heartbeats you heard
And when your tender and heavenly arms you spread...
The touch of warmth I felt
When all I could see and hear was my lonely spirit
Gave me the strength to rise up and walk
And that was the day
When my Silence gifted me your soul of life
And I did realize how blessed I was
And who I really was!!

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